Why Do I Get Anxious Randomly? 3 Compassionate Steps to Cope With Crippling Anxiety for Worried Moms
Feeling Anxious and Don’t Know Why? Read This Before You Try to "Fix" It
Ever find yourself feeling anxious for no reason—like everything should be fine, but your chest is tight, your mind is racing, and you’re just trying to hold it together?
Maybe you can recognize you’re anxious, you might even know why—but somehow that knowing doesn’t make the feeling go away? You’re still snappy, overwhelmed, and trying to hold it all together… but just barely.
This post is for the high-achieving, emotionally aware mom who gets things done... but also finds herself stuck in her head, feeling anxious, snapping at her people, and then beating herself up for not "handling it better.” In this blog you’ll walk away with a compassionate, effective approach to navigating anxiety—so you can stop letting it derail your day and start responding to it in a way that feels grounded, kind, and empowering.
Hey there, I’m Alexis—a therapist and coach who works with moms just like you. I specialize in helping high-achieving, self-critical enjoy motherhood instead of manage it.
If you're new here and nodding along already, I’d love for you to grab my free 5-Minute Calm Toolkit or come hang out with me on Instagram where I share encouragement and tools you can use in real life.
This blog (and others on my site!) is another free support to help you feel seen and supported without adding more pressure or perfectionism to your plate.
Let’s dive into what’s really going on when you're feeling anxious and don’t know why—and what to do about it.
Why Knowing You’re Anxious Isn’t Enough
Even as a therapist—a supposed expert in feelings—I can relate.
We were right in the middle of our move. Nothing dramatic, just across town. But life felt like a whirlwind of boxes, messes, and emotions. I knew why I was anxious. My brain could explain it. But that awareness didn’t make the anxiety disappear. My chest still felt tight, my patience wore thin, and my body buzzed with restlessness.
That’s when I remembered something I want to share with you:
Knowing you’re anxious isn’t enough.
If all you do is label your anxiety but don’t know what to do with it, you’re stuck in this weird in-between—mentally aware but still emotionally hijacked.
And for high-achieving women who are used to fixing problems, that stuckness feels even more frustrating.
As moms, we tend to default to one of two things:
Try to "logic" our way out: "This isn’t a big deal. I shouldn’t be this overwhelmed."
Or power through it: "Just get through the day. You can fall apart later."
But neither actually helps.
Here’s what does—and it's as easy as three small steps.
3 Steps to Cope With Random Anxiety (& Actually Feel Better)
Step 1: Notice the Feeling Without Jumping to Fix It
Before you reach for a coping skill, pause.
Most high-achieving women I work with can name their anxiety, track the trigger, and come up with a theory in under 30 seconds. But that skips a critical piece:
Actually feeling it.
We’re so fast to solve the problem that we forget to check in with our bodies. And that’s where anxiety hides—because it hasn’t been fully acknowledged.
Ask yourself:
What’s happening in my body right now?
Is this really anxiety—or am I overtired, overstimulated, or holding back tears?
Am I angry? Lonely? Disappointed? Touched-out?
The more honestly you name what’s there, the less power it holds. Random anxiety often builds when we ignore or try to control it instead of actually letting ourselves feel it.
✨ Looking for more ways to slow down and be in the moment? Check out my Calm Toolkit or browse other blog posts here for simple, actionable tools.
Step 2: Give Yourself Permission to Feel (Even If It Doesn’t Make Sense)
Here’s where we get stuck—we think feelings need to be justified to be valid.
Have you ever told yourself:
“There’s nothing really wrong, I shouldn’t feel this way.”
“Other moms have it worse, I should be grateful.”
“It’s just anxiety—I should be able to shake it off.”
But the truth is:
Your feelings don’t need a permission slip.
They’re already happening.
Fighting them only adds another layer of tension—now you’re anxious and ashamed about being anxious. What you don’t allow yourself to feel eventually comes out sideways - irritability, exhaustion, illness.
Try saying this: “It’s okay that I feel this way.”
You don’t have to love the feeling to allow it.
Feeling it also doesn’t mean reacting to what you’re feeling. You can experience your anxiety without acting on it which can look like:
Here’s what this might look like:
Instead of rage-cleaning, pause and breathe.
Instead of jumping into your to-do list, give yourself a slow start.
Instead of procrastinating from overwhelm, start small.
When you stop resisting your emotions, they soften. They move. They don’t stay stuck and come out sideways.
Step 3: Anchor Into What Helps (Without Pressure to Fix)
Now that you’ve noticed and allowed your anxiety, it’s time to support yourself—not from a place of "fixing," but from kindness.
Ask: “What would feel kind right now?”
Here are a few simple ways to anchor back into your body and remind yourself you’re safe:
Step outside for 5 minutes of fresh air
Put your hand on your heart and take 3 deep breaths
Move your body: stretch, sway, or walk
Hydrate or eat something nourishing
Text a friend who gets it
Journal, pray, or read a grounding scripture
These aren’t emergency measures. They’re daily lifelines. And they’re not about making anxiety disappear—they’re about showing your nervous system you’re safe. That you’re staying.
💛 Want more everyday tools like this? Be sure to grab my 5-Minute Calm Toolkit or follow me on Instagram where I relatable stories and strategies every week.
Bonus Step: Remember You’re Not Doing It Wrong
Let’s bust a myth:
Feeling anxious for no reason doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you.
It doesn’t mean you’re broken, behind, or doing motherhood wrong. It means you’re human, with a sensitive, hardworking nervous system trying to keep up.
Even as a therapist and coach, I still get anxious. The difference now? I don’t spiral the same way. I have a toolbox—and permission—to slow down and respond with care.
If you’ve been trying to out-think or outrun your anxiety, I want to invite you to try something different:
Let yourself feel it (even if it doesn’t make sense).
Give yourself permission to be messy.
Reach for small supports, without guilt.
You don’t need to fix yourself. You just need to stay open to yourself.
And when you do? Everything changes.
Why This Works (And Why It Feels So Different)
The more you practice this process—notice without fixing, permission to feel, anchoring into support—the more your nervous system learns that it doesn’t have to go into full panic mode.
You start to interrupt the cycle of:
Feel anxious
Judge yourself
Try to fix it
Feel more anxious when it doesn’t work
Instead, you create a new pattern:
Feel anxious
Offer yourself compassion
Create safety through simple support
Let the emotion move through
Over time, this becomes your default—which means anxiety might still show up, but it doesn’t take over.
Need Help Finding Your Calm?
If this resonated with you, I want you to know—there’s more support waiting for you.
🧘♀️ Grab my free 5-Minute Calm Toolkit — full of simple practices to reset your nervous system in the middle of the day, no perfection required.
💬 Ready to go deeper? Apply for 1:1 coaching — where we gently untangle what’s fueling your anxiety, so you can stop managing life and start enjoying it again.
📲 Come hang out on Instagram @confidently.therapy — I share encouragement, tips, and real-life moments from the messy middle.
And if this helped you, would you forward it to a friend or share it on social? You never know who might need this gentle reminder today.
