3 Ways to Be a More Present Mom and Enjoy Motherhood More

Apr 28

Ever get to the end of the day and wonder where it all went? You were technically with your kids all day—maybe even in the same room—but somehow it still feels like you didn’t really see them. You missed the way their laugh bubbled up when they found something funny, or how they quietly tried to figure something out on their own. It's like the moments are there, but you're moving too fast to actually notice them.

I know that feeling too. Even though I work from home and spend most of my days around my kids, there are still times I realize I’ve gone hours without truly being present with them. It’s not that I don’t care—it’s that life pulls us in so many directions, and presence can feel like a luxury.

And then the guilt sets in. It’s a bit too familiar really, but doesn’t take away the sting.

It wasn’t enough. It’s never enough.

You make a vow to yourself that tomorrow is going to be different. You tell yourself that you’ll put down your phone or set aside your work and enjoy time with your kids. Fully present and in the moment.

And yet, when the next day comes and goes, you find yourself with the same regrets.

The cycle has to stop. But how? Life isn’t going to slow down; the older your kids get and the more successful you become the more stuff there is to do. You can’t quit working, and you don’t want to, but life isn’t slowing down.

You really just wish it was easier - that you could have it all.

The Truth About Being a More Present Mom

Just like you, I love being a mom. It’s challenging, but I truly love it and I desperately want more time with my kids. I’m grateful for the flexibility in my work, which allows me more time with them than if I worked in an office. But even then, I find myself wanting more.

You don’t realize how fast time is flying until you have kids and with each one it seems to go faster. There’s more of them and less of you and all you want, more than anything, is to enjoy them.

You don’t just want more time with your kids, you want to get the most of that time. You want to be fully immersed in the moment - present.

But what’s stopping you?

Identifying What Steals Your Attention and how to be a more present mom

Silly as it seems, the first step to being a more present is recognizing what’s stealing your attention.

For me, it was my phone. I found myself mindlessly scrolling any time I had a minute to spare. Maybe you do the same. Sitting with the kids doesn’t have to consume all of your attention, but you might be just as surprised as I was at how much attention and time it takes.

There are apps and settings that can help you limit your screen time or in-app time, but the real challenge (and I’m totally guilty of overriding the limits myself) is using them.

It’s not just phones, our minds are busy and our world is loud: the never ending to-do list, the constant mental load, the pressure to be perfect and productive.

Finding a way to quiet the mental clutter is important in the process (which is exactly what I do with moms who work with me).

Reframing What It Means to Be a More Present Mom

Just like I mentioned before, to be a good mom doesn’t mean you are dedicated and undistracted to your kids 100% of the time. It’s never my goal to add more to your plate - you are enough just as you are.

Instead, presence can look like stolen moments of connection:

Making eye contact while your child tells you a story
Taking an extra minute to cuddle before bed
Laughing together over something silly
Including your kids in a chore

Small moments add up and often mean more than the perfectly planned quality time.

A random aside, but my hope as you review this list is you actually can give yourself some credit for all that you’re doing and maybe acknowledge how much more present you actually are.

Creating Space for Presence

For me, one of the most helpful strategies was time blocking. I share this regularly with my clients who find it extremely helpful as well. As a moms, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by everything I need to do. The urgency of the to-do list makes it hard to focus on my kids.

There’s too much adn not enough time.

But when I started scheduling time for tasks - laundry, house cleaning, responding to emails, workouts, Bible time, rest, etc. it allowed me to give myself permission to fully be in the moment with my kids when I was with them because I knew I had a plan to get other things done later.

3 Practical Mindfulness Techniques for Moms Who Want to be More Present

So many articles on this topic of presence in parenting talk about mindfulness, meditation, and breathing - which are great, but what does that actually mean in the life of an everyday mom?

First, it doesn’t require hours of commitment sitting on a pillow and singing kumbaya. Instead, it’s a simple turning of attention to the moment, without judgment, just noticing.

It can feel a little “hippy-dippy” or even too simple to believe as some of my mom clients have shared and yet, it works and I encourage you to give it a try.

1. The Power of a Deep Breath

When you feel rushed or overwhelmed, you likely have a tendency to tense up, hold your breath, or breath more shallow. By doing this, you’re signaling your body to panic.

Throughout your day, pause. Take a deep breath in for four seconds, hold for four, and exhale for four. This simple act signals your nervous system to slow down and be in the moment. Your breath is a powerful anchor.

2. Sensory Check-Ins

Like me, you’re likely so used to rushing around that you don’t even notice you’re doing it. It’s your norm. Part of the way to slow yourself down and be more present is to engage your senses to ground yourself in the present. Ask yourself:

What do I hear right now?
What do I smell?
What textures can I feel?
What do I see?

As ridiculously simple as it sounds, actually name them. This practice helps shift your focus from distractions back to your current experience.

3. Grounding Affirmations

I am big on affirmations because words have power and what you tell yourself matters.

When I feel the panic that I’m falling behind or not doing enough I tell myself:

This is important too.
I am not measured by my productivity.
I have nothing to prove.
There is enough time.

3. Letting Go of Perfection

Remember that being present as a mom isn’t about perfection. It’s not an event or finish line you’re going to arrive upon some magical day. Some days will be easier than others. Some days, you’ll feel fully present. Other days, you won’t. And that’s okay.

Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself grace. And if perfectionism is something you struggle with, I have a free resource just for you: Download my Perfectionist-Free Mom Guide and start letting go of the impossible standards holding you back.

The Bigger Picture of How to Be a More Present Mom

Parenting is a series of moments. When you start paying attention, even just a little more, those moments add up.

You don’t have to overhaul your life to be more present. You just have to start noticing the moments already happening around you.

Take a breath. Slow down. Look into your child’s eyes. You are here. And that is enough.

Ready to take this even further? If you’re tired of feeling like life is rushing past you and want support in creating more presence, balance, and confidence in your motherhood journey, my coaching program can help.

I work with high-achieving, self-critical moms who want to enjoy their life without the constant pressure of doing more. Let’s break the cycle together. Apply today and start showing up for yourself and your family in a way that feels good. In the meantime, check out my 5-Minute Calm Toolkit to help you to be a more calm and present mom.